The Sun Always Shines in Florida

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Leave Him to Heaven

It was a dream that I have wished for. And yes, it happened. A love I longed for. A man I wanted to be with. And a realization that, when I woke up, it was all a nightmare. But then, there came the dawn, and its light redeemed me back to myself.

I can never forget the day I got to know Harry. Such blue eyes, porcelain-fine skin, and manly-brown complexion. He was every bit a handsome gentleman. It’s funny and such a peculiar thing I knew him through text. Yes, through text.

Before he came into my life, I was nerd. I didn’t care for anyone. I was then the managing editor of our school publication and was very active in academics and in co-curricular activities. I have shut my heart and killed my emotions. I was a hundred percent hard, tough, and ruthless.

Whenever that memory comes back into my mind, I can instantly see myself, again, alive as the scenes went by. I can still smell the freshly-repainted office. The computer was just reinstalled and I was working for my last and final article for that semester. Celeste, my fellow writer and friend and his boyfriend George, also a writer, were there. As usual, they were both busy with their textmates and their laughs and talking irritated me. I simple cannot concentrate with noise at my side , and so, the grand dame in me exploded.

“What the hell are you doing? Can’t you see I am working? If don’t stop with your carousing, you get out!” I gave them my trademark stare – glaring eyes and serious demeanor.

They kept quiet, of course. For a moment, stillness followed. Well, once I explode, my anger will also subside. Celeste just can’t stop looking at me, with her smile I saw so dubious, I know she was up to something that time.

“What are you staring at? And that smile. I know you’re up to something,” I said.

“Well. My friend from San Pablo keeps on asking me about you ‘coz I’ve just told him our dragon editor has blew fire on us. And, and,” I cut it short and raised my voice.

“And you were telling him about me! Who on earth is he?”

“O, he’s Harry. He’s also a writer. I met him last time at the seminar that Elaine and I attended. I mean, I think the two of you fits together. He’s cool and you’re hot.”

That was when the dream began. Celeste gave my number to him and he texted. At first, I was hesitant of replying to him, but as time moved, both of us became fond of each other. The fondness, I should say, turned to love. Weird isn’t it? Two people who never saw each other was in love and communicating only through text. Anyways, he’s such a sweet man. He’s into the debate club of his class. He was then taking up mass com and was very much cultured. In some terms, we were the same. But then, we were not. He discos and likes modern music, which I do not like.

Then came the day that I have waited for. I thought that it was the best day I ever had. From San Pablo, he came here to Ildefonso to see me. And, o my God, he was very handsome. When he spoke, he spoke like a man. That day, we dated. I toured him all over Ildefonso and we ate at the beach (ofcourse, he paid for it), and talked about our lives. He told me how glad he was to see me. Me, too. But I didn’t tell him, though I feel deep in my heart, he really was glad to see me. That afternoon, he went back home and my heart was smiling.

We continued to date for two months. Weekly, he went to Ildefonso to see me. Sometimes, I go to San Pablo to visit him. I never think of any dull moment when I was with him. We laughed together, smiled at each other, and enjoyed whatever moment we have.

It was so nice to for the golden sunset at the beach, turning into red-orange and the sky from blue, to dark blue, to violet, and submerge into the night. One time, we watched the sunset together. I sat beside him at the bench in the baywalk and held my hand. It was very romantic and I was trembling that time. Then, he held my hand, draw his mouth near to my ear and whispered gently, “I love you, Anna.”

I almost fainted. I was overjoyed that I turned teary eyed when I heard it. “I love you, too, Harry!” That was the first time I said that to a guy and that was the first time a guy said that to me. That moment, I never hesitated to say what I feel for him.

As lovers, we continued our weekend dates. I was very keen to see him, and, oh my, I really missed him every time he went back to San Pablo. Day after day, my love just went stronger and stronger. We texted each other everyday and the “I love yous” and the “I miss yous” were endless. I was at my happiest at those moments and never have Celeste nor anyone seen me that blooming.

“Harry, should’ve done much to you, Anna. You really are blooming these days,” said Elaine. “The first time Celeste and I saw him, I was really awed. He’s handsome and so, so charming. He’s very hot, Anna.”

But all good things must come to an end, as the adage goes. I didn’t know what happened or what changed the course, but one day, he just ceased from texting me. I thought he was just playing a game at me – a sort of joke – to make me miss him more. Monday ended, so did Tuesday, and no text message came. I waited and waited until Friday and came Saturday. I expected that by that time he would come to see me. But not a shadow of him arrived, nor was a beep of message sent to me. He just didn’t make it. That night, I was wondering what went wrong. Did something bad happened to him? I stared blankly at the ceiling of my bedroom. My mind explored many possibilities and chances what could have made him do that. Tears almost started to fall from my eyes until my cellphone beeped. I wondered who sent the message since the number wasn’t registered in my phone.

SoRi, M veri bz 2day, wsnt able to com. I lst my cp. Tx u f I hav nw 1.

It was Harry. No I love you. No I miss you. Just plain message. Ofcourse, he was busy besides, he lost his cellphone. I know when he will have a new one, he will surely text me. Those thoughts ran deep in me. I assured myself that he’ll comeback again. And so I waited. Two weeks have passed until the month was over, but he was nowhere. The finals were over and I had a lot of spare time to write. I kept on thinking of him. What happened to him, where could he be that time, what was he doing? I was very lonely and on the verge of collapse. But I didn’t let my emotion ran deep through me. I fought it, like the way I fought my problems before. I ventured into writing novels and I wrote one. It’s entitled Hold Back the Dawn – a common love story where boy meets girl. But I let my emotions and heart aches be felt in the story and luckily, it was published. That was my very first book. It seemed that luck followed when one of the stories that I have written for a magazine was published it was nominated for an award. And sure, it earned me money.

Then came the idea of going to San Pablo to look for him. Celeste and I went and we were there by noon time. I will never forget that day. As usual, the traffic was heavy. And the smoke from cars? Oh! so suffocating for a country girl like me. We went into the mall to refresh and ate our lunch and planned to go to his boarding house after that. I do not know if it were a mirage of I was hallucinating because of hunger, but I saw Elaine and in a moment, she disappeared.

“What could Elaine be doing here?” asked Celeste. But I was sure it was her. After we ate, we dropped by the bookstore and looked for some new bestsellers. I bought five novels – all lovely stories.

We were walking outside when I was dumbstrucked with what I saw. The shopping bag I was holding dropped into the floor. It must be a nightmare. This can’t be happening. I told myself. I almost fainted as Celeste kept me standing. It was Harry and Elaine – together, very sweet, and flirting with each other. They saw me, and a moment of stillness shrouded them. They were shocked when they saw me.

But I have cried enough and I was hurt so much that when it happened, not a single dropped of tear fell. I almost scream but I’ve held my dignity intact. I gave them a smile, a rather friendly smile. But else could I show them? It was rather plastic of me, but that the best thing a loser could do.

“Hey, nice seeing the two of you,” Harry asked. Elaine was quiet as Celeste stared at her. I was trying to be strong while I am facing them – trying to let them see I am all right. But God knows, deep within me, I am tortured and broken.

“I’m fine. I’m doing well. Long time no see. Hey, I haven’t heard anything from you,”

“Yeah. I. I. I was, was very busy. By the way, Elaine’s my gf,” He spoke as if he finds difficulty to speak.

“An, Ces, I’m transferring here by June,” Elaine said.

“Ofcourse. Wherever you think you’ll be best, go for it.” I replied. Celeste wasn’t speaking at all.

“Well, I think we have to go, we’re running after the 3pm trip.”

Until the last minute of facing them, I never let them see a shed of broken heart. Nor did I let Celeste see my agony on the trip going home. I know she was worried, but I assured her I am ok.

“It’s okay. It’s the end of the world,” I said.

That night, as I sat by my window, I gazed up to heaven and prayed. I prayed for hope to come – for hope to redeem me. I prayed a lot. I prayed that when I wake up, everything will be back to normal, that God will give me the courage to move on and face a new beginning. That time, I didn’t stop my tears from falling. I let my emotions out and let all the emotions hidden in my heart to come out. I tried to look back at my past, the past that was once mine, the past that was once so sweet, now, so bitter.

But instead of letting myself slip and fall down, I fought it back and moved on. It was hard. It was like undergoing chemotherapy. The pain was unbearable at first. It was a toll for me, but I never stopped. I went to church everyday and asked guidance from God. All the summer months, I spent my time at the office writing my story. It did help me recover and it was published into a novel. Though everytime I read I cannot stop from crying, yet, I am relieved.

The last time I saw Harry and Elaine was during last year’s regional press conference. It all came back at the instance I saw them and the memories haunted me. But I didn’t let it ruin me, after all that was my day – I won the outstanding journalist award. Ofcourse, they were surprised. They thought a broken person like me can never recover, but they were wrong. I was smiles when I accepted the feat.

I never planned to avenge my grief. I let grief pass away and at the end of the day, I thanked God I have learned to forgive myself and others. Now, I am at ease, at last. Somehow, I’ll find my true love.